In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
