either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize