She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
