none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
