I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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