It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
