Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i would one night stand the shit outta him
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
