is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
