she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
