How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
