That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
