Fuck appropriateness.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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