he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
