you would pick up someone in the library
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize