Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
