So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize