wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Who did Billy Mays play for?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
