Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
