She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
