I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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