Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
