that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
