i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize