Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
