It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I think my vagina is haunted
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
