your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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