Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
