the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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