suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize