its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
