i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize