Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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