i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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