so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
