i was born a porn star she said
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
