It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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