yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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