Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
