Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
