Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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