I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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