i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
accomplished twins. life is a go
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Randomize
