shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Too much gin, very little bucket
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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