she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
