you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You took a bar mat shot.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize