Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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