I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
