you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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