worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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