I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
