Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
