After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
