so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
