Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
thus making me awesome and them whores
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
