You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
All I want is dick and wine.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
