hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
