had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
