I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
