The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize