I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
