my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
