Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
