somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize