i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize