you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize