Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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