it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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