i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize