Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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