Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
