I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
