Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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