did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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