These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
