i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
