just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
