We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
